Wednesday, March 21, 2018

Where My Demons Hide

To My Dearest Self...

I would like to scold you now for being stupid enough to let other people step on you but what can I say? You've always been like that. Besides, I know right now you are hurting... well, not as difficult like the past ones. But still. Nursing a bruised ego is not easy. So I will let it easy on you right now. Still I can't help it. I am shaking my head at you. If you have thought about yourself before anyone else, your ego would still be intact. If you have not cared enough not to hurt other's feelings, then you shouldn't have undergone what you just did. Yet I understand you. You did what you have to do and despite losing, I still think you can win this one in time. Ego is nothing after all. You are still whole and that's what's important. 

If people reject you, you respect that. You remove all associations you had with them because you respect their decision. If they think you are not worthy, you accept that too. But you don't need to get angry. Maybe for a time, as it is human nature. But remember this: what others think about you is not your problem. Move on and don't let this experience hinder you. Remember who you are. You are whole. You have a meaningful life. Your life is not void. Stand up and keep walking from where you fell. Pick up your pieces if you must and get yourself together. Did you forget? Life had recently given you beautiful changes and unexpected blessings. Don't throw them all away for nothing.

Right now you are tempted to revenge, inflict the pain back and the demons you hide inside are trying to emerge. But remember your past lessons. Forgive and if you could not forget then remember the past, the kindness, the good memories. Let these memories wash the hurt and the anger. It is better to heal now than to sink deeper in misdeed and agony.
Then... and only then can you restore your peace inside. Finding your peace is not dependent on anyone except yourself. If you have lost the chance to make things right, it is time to let go. Please do not blame yourself for things you cannot control. Let it go... 

Finally, let compassion win. Wish them well and be sincerely happy for them even if hurts because in due course, you will find your happiness back... tenfold.

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