Surprise for my parents' 44th wedding anniversary

Wednesday, June 30, 2021

I don't want to let this month pass without writing about this. Because of all the things that happened to me in June, the good, the bad and those in between, this event is what I am most thankful for: my parents' 44th wedding anniversary.

First, of course, I am thankful to God. Second, I am thankful to my parents. Not all the days leading up this anniversary have been spent purely on love, not everyday was blissful and beautiful. Nevertheless, I am grateful for each and every one of those days, because I know that my parents did their best to stay together for us.

Their wedding anniversary was an ill-prepared surprise party which was entirely my fault. I thought of the plan a little too late, lucky it had been salvaged by my siblings who were with my parents. Despite the utter simplicity of it all, it made our parents happy and seeing the smile on their faces was more than enough reward for me.

I feel emotional about this because I know my parents currently live a diffucult life. We always say that as people grow older, they become grumpier. I am guilty of this generalizing as I brushed off my parents annoyance with each other as part of becoming "old."

But it's more than just age. It's all part of married life. What I have learned from my own marriage is that it's hard. Sure, there is love, the foundation of the union between husband and wife. But love is more than the butterflies in your stomach. It's more than staring into each other's eyes.

The moment you have children marks the beginning of having less attention for each other. There'd be hardly any time for cuddling while talking about sweet nothings.

Instead, you discuss about what is good for the kids, which school they should go to, whether they have enough toys, are they happy, are they okay... everything will become mostly about the kids.

Then there are arguments arising from the most trivial things such as the kids being over or under dressed for an occasion, a disorganised desk, a missed laundry pile... spouses can easily become the sponge absorbing each other's exhaustion and frustrations.

The love required in a marriage is truly and most selflessly beautiful. From the time you loved the other person, you have made yourself vulnerable. You take on a role, whether as a provider, as a carer or both and for years you will be seen only in that role. And my parents had taken on their roles perfectly, in my opinion.

All those years, I saw my parents as the good provider and the selfless carer. It was hard to imagine that they were someone else too before becoming our parents, you know as lovers. Maybe, I realised, even my parents have forgotten who they were as individuals.

That night we surprised my parents on their anniversary, I repeatedly watched and looked at their videos and photos. Mom, being her sassy self pretended to be nonchalant but her face was beaming with happiness while Dad, the ever patient person, grabbed the opportunity to make Mom feel young and cared for again. 


It was a beautiful sight, my Dad's arm around Mom, smiles on their faces. It must have been a relief for everyone to see them in this mood too, instead of the constant indifference lately (sometimes even anxious and frustrated). As I have said, their 44 years together weren't all beautiful days.

I happily told my husband that if Mom gets more of these surprises, she'd probably be less cranky. My husband replied, that's because Mom has always been the one taking care of everybody. And he is right. 


Now, I realised that while age can make you resentful, so does the burden that comes inevitably in married life. Perhaps, it's about time that I help my parents let go of their roles and start attending to themselves again. Perhaps, I should make them feel cared for more often.

My parents have been wonderful as Mom and Dad, all those years and I feel bad because I haven't really shown how much I love and care for them too.

It's about time that I help them rediscover who they were before us, and that is as lovers, and as themselves. Because there is nothing I would want more for their anniversary - and for all the days thereafter - than to see them live happily. Ever after.




3 comments

  1. Congratulations po Tita and Tito.. So proud of your accomplishment.. Enduring and forgiving. As always love is timeless. Much love and respect to the both of you.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Nette! Will let Mom and Dad know <3

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  2. Thank you Nette! Regards to you and your family. God Bless.

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