Tuesday, February 14, 2017

My 15th Year

This year, there is one wish that I pray to God:

Just a little corner in His paradise.

I have experienced a lot of struggles in my life. From the time I have plummeted to the pit of darkness in my life, I have been humbled a lot of times.

I do not regret the times I have been pained though. These experiences created the most important permanent marks in my life. Like a cutter, every time I encounter a painful experience, I cut my heart with His words to alleviate the pain.

On the outside, I seem like a nonchalant girl, indifferent to everything that’s going on around me. But I am just someone who likes to hide inside the shell she created to protect the person who is so vulnerable and weak. I do not wish to show emotions. My tears are the only treasure I could keep perhaps. For I don’t have a lot of good works or good deeds to store.

God already gave me a lot in life and yet I still mess up. I am ashamed to the point that I have learned to ask little. I want to view life not as competition but a journey. I’d like to believe that heaven is as big as God’s mercy. And so I wish, that after everyone – especially my loved ones - is granted their space…

I wish there would be left, just a little corner in His paradise, for me.

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