I have just re-read my last post and had to wince at that. I know it was a real struggle I had just went through and thankfully I had overcome it since then. That day, I remember feeling like Zuko in Avatar the Last Airbender (insert my husband giving me the look of exasperation for always inserting Avatar whenever I can haha). I was feeling angry and sad - at myself.
|I'm angry at myself! -if only I can firebend! :D - source|
So today, I want it to be all pleasing and happy thoughts - although when my dear drove me to the station this morning, he said "ang sungit mo." (hehehe). Sorry dear. But in my defence, I had a difficult day yesterday, I slept sore last night and then woke up on the wrong side of the bed, the only side of the bed (hehehe).
So, it's minty green tea for me please, because peppermint tea is supposed to calm the nerves and give you the feeling of relaxation. Already, it's starting to work wonders, with this happy thoughts and happy memories and a happy post. That or just choosing to shift my mindset...
Let me just reminisce a happy thought that happened as recently as last Monday.
Dear and I attended the St Marys Public School end of year assembly to witness Demi receive her award. She got an award for being a consistent achiever academically, thanks and glory be to God! I wasn’t even tutoring her. At home, I don’t see her study, she always plays on her I-Pad so I said jokingly to my husband, was that a constant achiever at minecraft? Hehehe.
Anyway, it was an eye-opener at the same time. I realised that while Demi does very well on her own, a little bit more nudging could push her to the top. Little Daisy on the other hand needs a lot of attention and that’s where I should try to exert more effort. Last night, although I was very sore from work, Daisy and I managed to read chapter 1 of this new book I got from the library on my way home. It was an easy chapter book which could boost Daisy’s confidence but would not intimidate her.
An even more recent recall was yesterday with another good news from Demi. She and her friends Alex and Payton won first place in the school talent quest for singing One Call Away. Wow! I never even saw her practicing, although she sings a lot at home. Sometimes, I would catch on her songs and add them to my playlist. She's got really good taste in music.
This talent quest got me excited but it was too late for me this year to enter Daisy. Next year, God willing, I have really good plans for her. She is a very shy girl but I believe she has plenty of talents. She is good in dancing and singing without even trying and it makes me sad because she can’t showcase her skills because of my negligence. I have been focusing on myself for the last few years that I have left my kids on their own. This realisation was actually one of the answers to my last rant. When the world was putting pressure on me, back to basics is this. I have lost time for my family in dire desire to satisfy the never-ending responsibilities. But my children, are one of my primary responsibilities too. Overlooking this part of my duty had caused my burnout. And it made me feel angry. Just like Zuko, above. Hehehe.
Anyway, I just want to end this post with a childhood memory I had with my brothers. I was reminded of it because it had to do with awards and school year-ends too.
If I recall it right, I think it was kuya Niño’s graduation soon and we were teasing kuya Niño on how he would walk on his graduation day. Kuya Niño pretended to jiggle his multiple medals on his neck while Kuya Kris acted like he’s carrying a very heavy stuff (kalabasa hehehe). I went on pretending to drive and when they asked me “ano yan?” I said, he’s driving a truck full of kalabasas hahahaha.