Sunday Sound Trip # 9: If I Never Knew You

Monday, October 29, 2012

Brief intro: Funny, today's not Sunday but I'm posting my 9th Sunday Sound Trip post. Forgive me but I just have to share this song NOW. Yesterday, the internet connection was very poor. Anyways, this is one of my favourites and I dedicate this one to my beloved husband whom I've been missing so much since I've left my home country...

If I never knew you
If I never felt this love
I would have no inkling of
How precious life can be

And if I never held you
I would never have a clue
How at last I'd find in you
The missing part of me

In this world so full of fear
Full of rage and lies
I can see the truth so clear
In your eyes, so dry your eyes

And I'm so grateful to you
I'd have lived my whole life through
Lost forever
If I never knew you

If I never knew you
I'd be safe but half as real
Never knowing I could feel
A love so strong and true

I'm so grateful to you
I'd have lived my whole life through
Lost forever
If I never knew you

I thought our love would be so beautiful
Somehow we made the whole world bright
I never knew that fear and hate could be so strong
All they'd leave us where these whispers in the night
But still my heart is singing, we were right

Oh, if I never knew you
There's no moment I regret
If I never knew this love
Since the moment that we met
I would have no inkling of
If our time has gone too fast
How precious life can be
I've lived at last, yeah yeah

I thought our love would be so beautiful
Somehow we'd make the whole world bright
I thought our love would be so beautiful
We'd turn the darkness into light
And still my heart is singing, we were right
We were right

And If I never knew you
I'd have lived my whole life through
Empty as the sky, never knowing why
Lost forever, if I never knew you, yeah
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My Second Dream

Saturday, October 20, 2012

When our visa was granted, it was one of the most ecstatic moments in my life. I was blushing very red that time out of excitement, and I can't help but smile from ear to ear. I immediately called the husband to share the good news for I was at the office when it happened. All my closest friends were happy as well when I told them this great feat.

Indeed it was a big feat for me. I'm not sure how or why but perhaps because Australia was supposed to be a greener pasture, of maybe because the process had been a tough one to undergo. But after the dream had been granted, little did I care about what shall come up next.

Humans, as long as we are alive, we do not stop dreaming for the dreams serve as our goals and the goals guide us to the paths which we are to undertake. In between those dreams are the realities. That is where I am now and my next dream is to be reunited with my family.

I care less about the realities. While I was waiting for the visa grant, I just went on with my daily routine: work, family, friends. It wasn't so difficult back then I suppose. The most comforting parts were the times I look forward to ending the day with my husband and my little ones. There's nothing like being home after a tiring day at work. But the realities I'm in now are much too difficult to ignore. It was circumstance which put me where I am now.

To begin with, I battled with the thought of separation with my family at least a month or so before my departure. There was the time I got sick for an entire week, countless times of crying, moodswings that were more frequently irritable and distressed... But those experiences do not compare to the ones I have been undergoing from the moment I was to board the plane. Thoughts with painful impact: the last time I was picking up my daughter at school, the last time I was teasing my youngest daughter, the last time my husband and I ate dinner, the last time I was sleeping with them on our warm bed. All those last times and yet I failed to make them special because I was too forcused on the next dream that I didn't even notice the realities coming.

Right now I live with all the luxury of time and comfort which my tita and other relatives provide me. Plenty of time I didn't have back then... I could listen endlessly to music I love, read books to my heart's content. Even the cool weather I enjoy here which was opposite in the Philippines. But oh, how I'd give anything to be back home. I'd give all my time to my babies just to be able to cuddle and kiss them right this instant. I'd bear the hot weather just to be able to sleep beside my husband tonight...

I miss them so much. This is the painful reality I am bearing now. No amount of first-time-adventures can console the yearning in my heart. Every souvenir photos and memoirs of my firsts here in Australia are but documentaries to tell my love ones that here I am, finally, fine and okay. Because I know if they think I am happy, they'd be happy too.

But I miss them so much. And I can't wait until my second dream is granted. Right now, my prayer is that God, please let this moment be not too long. I miss them so much.
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So Mr. Voyager, Shall We?

Sunday, October 7, 2012

For many consecutive Sundays, I didn't post my usual "Sunday Sound Trips." For one thing, I didn't feel like sound tripping. It's more of the relaxed weekends which I no longer want to have in the meantime. Weekends have to be action-packed these days to maximize the remaining days I have before I leave. It's only a week now until my dreaded departure and yet I haven't packed a single thing in my luggage bag. Well, I have been preparing. Checking things that I needed to bring and buying those that I might need. But as you can see, Mr. Voyager is still inside his plastic. Untouched. Even dreaded maybe.

But it's now or never. If I don't face this now (or rather later after posting this blog), I'll never get enough time to make inventory list of the things I'm bringing.

What made the delay was mostly distraction actually. With the few days left for me to create memories with my loved ones, it was difficult to allot time for the Voyager.

Time have been spent worthwhile though, so there were no regrets. First off, I had just recently resigned from work, 28 September was my last day to be exact. Of course, the last days at work were the most hectic ones. What with the job turnover and all, and the making of the souvenirs for my dearest friends (which I'm gonna post a tutorial of one of these days),
Sample souvenir magnet
plus the planning of the despedida party which was a surprise for me, there was simply not enough time for other things. At this point before I move forward, I'd like to express my sincerest thanks to my bosses at Philex Mining Corporation, sir RNM, ma'am PNM, and ma'am SPS. To the Finance team in general, as well some friends from the rest of the departments, thanks also. Until now, I can't get over the gratitude.

Moving on, aside from the resignation from work, there was the outing with "relatives". This one's a little bit complicated and I don't feel like pouring in the details hehe. I just had to grab at the opportunity now because it might take some time again to see them in the future.

Then there were the occasions with my family and in-laws. For 2 consecutive Saturdays, we spent time with my husband's family for a whole day, the second Saturday with my family as well. The most recent one, which was just yesterday was a swimming party in Bosay Resort Antipolo. It was Normel's birthday coupled with my despedida I guess. Thanks so much to Normel for sponsoring and to ate Marie for the foods.

And now, while the kids are still asleep, I'm gonna make some bonding time with the Voyager. So, Mr. Voyager, it's now or never... Shall we?
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PDOS Accomplished!

Thursday, October 4, 2012

The Pre-Departure Orientation Seminar or PDOS, is necessary before leaving the country... You got to pay Php400.00 for that essential sticker (you can't leave the country without it) which they're gonna put in your passport and the seminar, as they say, is free. We called to ask before going there and the operator told us to arrive really early because they only accommodate up to 40 persons, up to 60 for special cases such as people coming from provinces. I'm not sure if they'd give consideration for those whose departure date is very near, like me, so we took the advice and went there very early.

Going inside the CFO building, my heart is pounding nervously but thank God, all went well. The person in the front desk checked our requirements and aside from the photocopies, the documents were complete. Everything went smoothly, it took less than an hour of processing up to the payment part. In short, there was plenty of time to kill since we arrived aroung 10am and the seminar wasn't until 2pm.

After the payment, the cashier instructed us to get back at least 30 minutes before the orientation time. Getting out of the building, we walked a great distance to look for ESTABLISHMENTS around. My heart sank with the discovery that the place was not a magnificent one to get stuck in. I had to blurt out loud, hasn't Henry Sy thought of conquering this place? It was disappointing because usually, government units are frequently visited by people thus, plenty of recreation nearby. Well, the walk wasn't altogether futile. We found a BDO bank after a kilometer walk and were able to settle our due bills.

Afterwards, we figured we have to eat. The long walk made us hungry. Sad to say, there was only Jollibee and McDo around. Since I do not like to eat at Jollibee, that left us no choice except McDo. So we walked farther on and found this place which I do not remember the name, except that it has "goodies" in it. Forgetting the name is for it's own sake I guess for reasons one has to read on.

To start with, it was probably the MOST expensive lunch I have ever spent on for Php236 for 2 persons. Why? Because it was like paying to eat something spoiled for one thing. The husband ordered beef pares with rice while I ordered the all time favorite sizzling sisig with rice. When my food was served, I winced at how it looked like. It was mostly onion bits with shreds of something that looked like canned tuna meat and some bits of pork skin that looks blanched than cooked. And the taste was like... sinigang. I'd rather say sinigang than think I had been eating spoiled meat okay? It was one of a kind... really. The pearl milk tea we ordered was none better either. To be fair, the pearls were okay but the tea itself was bland to tasteless and there was little difference between the hazelnut which the husband ordered against the caramel which I ordered. To add injury to the disappointment, my husband's milk tea was lukewarm hahaha.

All in all, I felt bad and ungrateful after we ate. I didn't even finish the food. Usually, when one's hungry, the food should be extra delicious to the tongue. Not that specific meal though. There was plenty of leftover food on my plate because I can no longer take the "sinigang-style" sisig they served me. Leaving the place called "goodies," I wistfully looked at McDonald's. Our stomachs were full though so we just went back to CFO.

A few more minutes of waiting, the seminar finally started. The seminar was quite helpful although I have to suggest that the speaker should have started with the settlement topic first and leave the least relevant, like the history of CFO, the statistics etc, last. The most important topics were rushed but luckily, they gave away booklets and pamphlets.

With the tips in mind, not to mention the food experience, it's time to get prepared. It's just a week before I leave and this makes me nervous, disturbed, anxious...

I'll leave this blog for a moment to get inner peace (then the kung fu "panda style" moves...)

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