Monday, February 18, 2019

The Painful 17th Year

It's a bit late but here it goes, the memoirs of the 17th year. Just as I expected, when things go smoothly and easy, it is wise not to linger in the moment but be prepared for something unpleasant. I am a pessimist by nature but it is also logical. Change is inevitable. It can not always be peace, calm, happiness and all things nice.

Something drastic left a big wound that for a long time would not fully healed. Doubt and hate, both inside and outside me, I have seen the ugliness. For a long time I would wonder what lies behind a person's smile... for the heart truly can be deceitful.

But thank God, it's over now. I realised that no one is perfect. We are not made of absolute black or white, darkness or light. We all have beauty and fault. How we react on things is what defines us. And it made me understand that when someone hates me, I don't have to feel hatred too.

Monday, January 28, 2019

Darla's First Beach Experience 

It was a long and agonizing trip of trying to stay awake and not get car sick but I was glad we went anyway. When I found out that Bundeena Beach was 1 hour and a half away, I almost backed out because travelling with a baby was never easy. I was gonna tell my husband to go to Cronulla instead, as it was closer, but our friends were going to Bundeena too. I could only hope that she would sleep through the journey although I knew that it was just wishful thinking. Knowing Darla, she doesn't like sleeping under everyday ordinary circumstances. I can tell she would be particularly awake for this new experience.

Saturday, January 19, 2019

Until I See You Again

I remember about 6 months ago, the feeling of excitement as we anticipate the coming of my parents to Australia. It was the first time that they will see my 2 girls again after 6 years plus it's the first time that they will meet the newest member of the family, our dear Darla. In a few hours, their visit is about to end and I can't help but feel a little sad. I can feel my sentimental side looking back to the beginning and it's incredible how such a short time could hold big developments. 

Saturday, July 14, 2018

A Mother's Dream

For days I have been eyeing the apple and cinnamon muffin my husband bought from the store. I fantasized having it for breakfast with a hot tea but could never find the time to enjoy even 10 minutes of alone time. To have a few minutes alone, having breakfast peacefully without rushing and worrying that the baby will soon cry. That was my biggest short term dream for now. Geez... You know you're an adult when having a quiet morning tea is considered a dream come true.

Well, this morning I finally stumbled upon the opportunity. Hubby was keeping Darla entertained so I thought it's the perfect time to sneak in a few minutes for a peaceful brekky. I went out to the kitchen and boiled water for the matcha green tea. My daughter Demi was already up and watching TV. I told her excitedly that today I will be fulfilling one of my dreams. She just laughed at my usual folly. 

Tuesday, May 29, 2018

The First Month

It's been a month now and I see myself failing... a huge disappointment. I am falling apart and nothing in my life is going right... wait, just kidding hehe. I'm just being ridonculous. My head is cloudy from sleep deprivation so forgive me. But besides that, I have never been actually happier. My baby turns one month today! Yey!